Womanhood Series-Week 3: Ladies, Let Go
Earlier today, I broke down. I sat down on my bed and cried. I mean, ugly cried! I felt frustrated with my current situation and I honestly felt disappointed in God. I had been dealing with this "Goliath” in my life for more than a year now, and I felt like I was at my wits end. I felt tired of dealing with it. I was tired of having to think about it. I wanted to be done with it and I felt frustrated that God wasn’t helping me. I felt disappointed that He seemed silent in the midst of my mess. With tears streaming down my face, I screamed:
God, you know what?! I’m tired. I am SO tired.
Why has this been so hard?
You told me that YOU would help me, but why am I still here? Why haven't you intervened?!
I honestly don’t know how much more of this I can take!!!
I sat there waiting for some answer or some sort of confirmation, but I got nothing. I felt even more discouraged than before! I knew that I couldn’t just lay down and wallow in self-pity, so I got up and tried to do something. I opened up youtube and “Letting Go” by Steffany Gretzinger began to play. I had listened to this song many times before, so I wasn't expecting anything profound to happen. I played the song anyway and listened as she sang:
You’ve brought me to the end of myself and this has been the longest road. Just when my hallelujah was tired, You gave me a new song. I’m letting go.
And in that very moment, something amazing happened. In that moment, I could feel God speaking to me: “Let it go, Christna. You've got to let go of your desire to know everything. You've got to let go of this need to always have things your way. You must let go of your desire for control. Let go of those expectations you created without consulting me. Let it all go.”
I realized that I felt frustrated all this time because I wanted to be in control! I wanted to dictate how and when God should show up in my situation. I wanted God to move when I wanted Him to move. I had my own expectations and when God didn’t meet them, I felt angry and disappointed with Him. I needed to let go for my own peace of mind and so that God could actually work in my life!
So, I let it go. I surrendered my desire for control and my desire to know everything. I gave Him all of it. As a Father, He understands my pain. He understands my discouragement and my struggles. He reminded me that He will come through, in His timing and in His way. My only responsibility is to let it go.
Ladies, I encourage you to let it go. What in your life have you been holding onto that you know God is telling you to let go of? A relationship? A difficult situation? Messy friends? What is it that you’ve been trying to control that’s become a source of frustration or discouragement to you? Your future? Your life goals? Your career? I encourage you to LET IT GO and let God take control.
Totally release it to Him and wait for Him to act. He’s your Father and He loves you. He will help you. Take a deep breath, and let it go.
(Refer to Week # 3 worksheet for more information about surrendering your situation to God.)