When You Feel Weary
This past week was a tough one for me.
Everyday that I woke up, the reality of everything on my plate slapped me in the face. There were obligations, deadlines, meetings, and schoolwork that needed to be accomplished, and I didn’t know how I would do it. I felt so weary and worn down. I have never felt that weary in my life-- not just physically weary, but spiritually and emotionally. It was as though I fought battles on every side, and I had nothing left to give, to God, to my family, even to myself. When I woke up, I didn’t feel any joy; I saw it as another day to cope with everything that I had been carrying. It was as if a gray cloud was hovering over my head, and I didn’t know how to get rid of it. Have you ever gotten to that place? When you felt so incredibly weary that you honestly believed you couldn’t take another step? That was me.
In the midst of my weariness, I would talk to God about how exhausted I felt. I constantly told Him: “God, I feel so tired. I don’t know if I can take anymore of this.” I didn’t ask Him for the strength that I needed, nor did I cast my cares on Him, all I did was complain about how hard this season of my life was. To make matters worse, when I felt like He wasn’t helping me through my weariness, I would turn to Netflix and binge watch movies because I wanted to escape all that I was dealing with. Isn’t that what we do when we feel like God is taking too long? We turn to something else that would provide us with an escape or temporary comfort. For me, it was Netflix, but for others, it might be a relationship, a job, or even food. We look to these things to escape our problems, when the Solution is closer than our very breath.
One day, after binge watching movies yet again, I felt a deep sense of guilt because I had turned to Netflix instead of going to God to receive the strength that I needed to overcome the weariness that I felt. In that moment, I knew that I couldn’t keep going on like this. I couldn't go another day trying to fight through my weariness alone. So, I got down on my knees in repentance and asked God to forgive me and to help me through my weariness. I cried out to Him in desperation, surrendering every weight that I chose to carry myself. Almost immediately, I felt relief. I felt lighter than I had ever felt in weeks. I felt strengthened in my spirit, and I wept and thanked God.
I encourage you today to go to God when you feel weary. Get in His presence, spend time in His word, talk to Him about your life and how you feel. Cast all of your cares on Him, because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). He won't despise your weariness. In fact, He knew that we would feel weary at some point because He tells us in His word to come to Him, so that He can give us His rest (Matthew 11:28). I know what it's like to feel like you cannot take another step, but with the little strength you have left, take a step towards Jesus. Only He can give you the strength and the rest that you need.