The Comparison Game- Week #5- Guest Article: Think Win-Win: How to Rule Against Comparison
“The fastest way to kill something special is to compare it to something else.” - Craig Groeschel
The title of this blog post was derived from a book that I’ve been reading called, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It’s the fourth of the seven habits listed in there. The author predicts that we somehow adapt this mentality of comparison at a very young age. Interesting enough, he made reference to parents that compare their children, either to other children or to their own expectations of what they should be like. This projects the perception to children that they aren’t good enough or worse, that someone’s just better.
If the paradigm of what we believe can shift from Win-Lose to Win-Win, then we’ll all be able to function at our best without feeling like the worst. Before I get into the meat of overcoming comparison, I’ll share a bit of my experience. I’ve not always been the most confident person and I can’t exactly tell you when I became the "Chief Executive Officer" of comparison, but I do know that it wrecked my entire outlook of who I am. It showed up in school, in my workplace, even in my relationships. It wasn’t hard enough that I didn’t see myself as valuable, but it became more dreadful trying to convince others of what I didn’t even believe.
If life were a game, then who would we say is actually winning? What does it look like and who decides? I can recall comparing myself to two of my closest friends because I thought they were more anointed than I was. It didn’t stop there, I also compared the way I prayed to other people, the way I sang, and the way I spoke. Sounds silly doesn’t it? But, the harsh reality is that when you don’t know what you carry and the value it holds, everything seems to be on the higher end of the bar. It’s like a see-saw; the lower you bring your self-worth, the more elevated everyone else becomes in your eyes. Not only does it heighten everything else, but you spend so much time focusing on what other people carry that you neglect to cultivate what’s in you and what you bring to the table. The root of comparison is low self-esteem. You will always find yourself comparing who you are to another if you do not see your own value. Imagine comparing yourself to your spouse because he makes more money than you do. It’s reckless to make your help mate your opponent. The strengths of another person should never be intimidating, but rather motivating.
So, here’s the 411:
1. Comparison is the lie that the enemy uses to keep you from coming into your full potential and calling. Don’t let him.
2. If you learn to value yourself, you will find that you’ll eventually start to compare and contrast less.
3. Make a list of the things that you bring to the table that you may sometimes overlook. They’re there, look again.
4. Don’t weigh your quality or value on the scale of recognition. You’ll never be worth more than your perception of yourself.
5. Focus on you. You’ll have no need to compare if you’re too busy working on being your best self.
6. Make it a habit to cheer for others when they do well. Comparison is the breeding ground for jealousy and we don’t want that.
7. Learn from what you admire. Everyone wins!
Guest Article Written By: Chryshawnda Adams
Chryshawnda is a a Kinesiology student at Holland College in Prince Edward Island, Canada. She is also the founder of "Queendom Living", a ministry geared towards young women.
Connect with Chryshawnda at "_iamchrysh"on Instagram and "Chryshawnda Adams" on Facebook. You can also contact her via her ministry email: