The Comparison Game- Week #3: The Truth About Comparison
On my journey to healing from comparison, I stumbled upon a few truths about it, and in this post I want to share them with you.
The truth about comparison is that it reveals to us what’s in our hearts. The Lord revealed to me that pride was deeply rooted in my heart, and this is why I often compared myself to other people. If I were to give the simplest definition of the form of pride that I’m talking about, it would be “the belief that you are better or more important than other people” (Cambridge Dictionary). This is how I felt deep down. If I saw someone with something that I wanted, or if I saw a pretty girl who made me feel threatened, that root of pride (believing that I'm more important than someone else) manifested itself as envy, and that envy propelled me to compare myself to the person. When the Lord showed me that pride was the root of my comparison issue, I felt terrible. However, the Holy Spirit reminded me that He didn’t reveal this to me to walk in condemnation, but to heal from it. I urge you to seek the Lord if you are struggling with comparison and ask Him what is the root cause. Like me, it might be pride, but for others, it might be different. The point is asking God to show you so that He can help you to uproot those things and walk in healing.
The truth about comparison is that it robs you of gratitude. When we constantly compare our lives to other people, we can never truly see what it is that God has blessed us with. Instead of being grateful for what God has done or is doing in our lives, comparison tells us that what we have isn’t enough, and we believe it. I find myself struggling to be grateful, a lot. Just this week, the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to the amount of times I complained in a day about my life.Thankfully, He made me aware so that I can be more intentional about being grateful for where I am and what I have. This takes intentionality. The more you practice it, the easier it will become. So, learn to exercise gratitude and be thankful for your portion. Be thankful for what you have, even though it might seem like a little. God has given it to you, and I’m sure there are so many people in the world who wished they were in your position. When we master the art of gratitude, comparison will have less of a grip on our lives.
The truth about comparison is that it gains more power over us when we refuse to admit that we struggle with it. I know of so many women and men who struggle with comparison, but are too ashamed to admit it- to themselves and even to God. Deep down, many of us feel as though admitting that we struggle in this area makes us seem weak, or insecure. But, the reality is that we are. We are weak and we are insecure and that is why we need to admit that we need help! The first step to healing is acknowledging that you have an issue that needs fixing. Instead of pretending to have everything together, it’s time for us to get over ourselves and commit to healing. Recently, I listened to a podcast and the preacher said something profound, which is that most of the time, we rush through our healing process and never get to the root of why we are the way we are. She gave the scenario of a weed wacker. Many of us would rather use a weed wacker, which only clears off the top of the weeds to polish the lawn, instead of doing the hard work to actually pull up the roots. When I heard her say that, I thought about my own life. For years, I’ve been focused on polishing the outside, and not putting in the real work like getting to the root of the toxic traits that I had. It’s time for us to mature and walk in freedom. Learn to be honest about your struggle. Talk to a friend, a close family member, or a mentor that you trust, and most importantly, talk to God about your struggle. I find so much healing in being honest about where I'm at, and I want the same for you.
The truth about comparison is that it isn’t always bad. Sounds crazy right? But, think about it a bit more deeply. When we compare, we’re looking at ourselves in relation to someone else. Yes, this can be bad, when we’re coveting what someone else has. However, in some instances, comparison can be healthy for us, and even beneficial. As a Christian woman, I find myself at times looking up to other Christian women that I admire and I compare myself to them. I don’t do this from a place of envy or covetousness, but from a place of eagerness to live a life of purity and surrender to God the way that they do, or to be bold like they are. The thing is that when we compare from a place of brokenness, it will always be rooted in pride- us wanting what someone else has or us feeling bad about what we don’t have. However, when we compare from a place of healing- meaning that you realize that there is no need to covet what the other person has because you understand that God has a specific plan for your life- it will always be about God and about growth. So yes, comparison isn't always evil; it can actually help you to become a better version of yourself when it is done in a healthy and God-honoring way.
I’m sure there are many more truths about comparison- truths that you will figure out on your own journey to freedom. I encourage you to write them down when you find them, and share them without someone else. You never know what healing they can bring to a wounded soul.
[Be sure to check out the worksheet for this week!]