The Comparison Game- Week #2: Trapped in Comparison

Have you ever felt trapped in something? Like, trapped in a small room or a closet? If you have, then you understand the panic and desperation that you experience because you want to get out.

This is how I often felt with comparison. Because it was something that I’ve struggled with for so long, I felt trapped, like there was no way out of it; no solution to the issue that was stealing my joy for most of my life. I honestly doubted that I could ever walk in freedom and truly enjoy my life. That was until I met Jesus. As I grew in my walk with Him, I learned that there is a way out and freedom is possible.

Below are three keys that I used to unlock that door that has kept me in bondage to comparison for so long. I pray that they become useful keys for those of you that feel trapped as well:

1. Shift the focus from myself to Jesus.

I’ll be honest and say that one of the reasons that I struggle with comparison is because I’m always focused on ME. Most of the time, I’m only thinking about Christna; her desires, and her wants. When I began to renew my mind with God’s word and understand that this life isn’t all about me, but Him, I started to compare myself less and less. Of course, this didn’t happen overnight. This is something that we have to be intentional about cultivating everyday of our lives, until we leave this Earth. But, let me tell you, the more time that you spend in the God's Word, focusing on Jesus and His goodness, kindness, humility, etc., you’ll be too grateful for what He has given you to compare your life to anyone else’s. Trust me. Learn to focus on Jesus. Focus on Him more than you do yourself. Ask Him to help you do this, and, I assure you, change will come.

2 . Learn to celebrate the very thing that you envy in other people.

This may sound crazy, but it is changing my life! Whenever I see someone with something that I wish I had, I'm learning to celebrate them, instead of revelling in envy and comparison. This isn't easy. In fact, it will take a lot of practice! It's still hard for me to do sometimes. You’re literally re-training your mind to think a certain way, and this takes time. But, the more that you do it, the easier it will become. When you learn to celebrate a gift that someone has that you secretly wish you did, it helps you to shift your focus not on the gift bearer, but the gift giver. I’m learning day by day in my own life that when I appreciate someone else’s writing talent or singing talent, or even looks, I end up thinking about how great of a job God did in blessing this person, and how great of a job the person did in cultivating their gift or taking care of themselves. So, practice celebrating the thing that you envy in someone else. This will take time, but commit to it every day. If you find yourself slipping up, don’t be discouraged, just try again. Overtime, you will recognize the change in your life.

3. Appreciate who you are and what God has given you.

God has given you something special. A personality that is uniquely yours. A face that is uniquely yours. A skill set that is uniquely yours. None of these things were meant to be compared to someone else. I wasted many years of my life not appreciating what I had to offer because I was more focused on what someone else brought to the table. In fact, I spent years considering if I should even start this blog because I was more concerned with what other people were doing. Imagine if I remained paralyzed because of comparison? I would have never stepped out to do what God was clearly calling me to. I urge you to appreciate who you are and what you have. Too many of us are more concerned with what others are doing instead of what God is doing in our own lives. God has a work for YOU to do. He has deposited gifts and vision in YOU. Focus on your journey and keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. Appreciate what God has given you and the things that make you different from other people. These are the very things that God will use for His glory.

We don’t have to be trapped in comparison for the rest of our lives. There is freedom. Once you take the first step, God will meet you. So, begin the journey!

[Be sure to check out the worksheet for this week and let’s break free from comparison!]