I like to think of comparison as a board game. Everytime I’d compare myself to someone else, I'd imagine myself throwing dice on the board.
If you’re anything like me, your dice probably hits that board everyday, multiple times a day.
If someone could get a medal for the amount of times they threw their dice in the comparison game, it would be me. As a woman, I compared myself to other women. As a writer, I compared myself to other writers. As a dancer, I compared myself to other dancers. As a student, I compared myself to other students...and guess what? As a Christian, I compared my walk with God to other Christians. As bad as it sounds, I can be honest and tell you that this was my reality. Comparison became a stronghold in my life and slowly but surely, it destroyed my joy, my peace, my self-esteem and my hope for the future.
But, that didn't stop me from throwing my dice in the game whenever the opportunity presented itself.
Because of comparison, I turned down amazing opportunities because I felt like I wasn’t good enough in light of other people. I refused to operate in my giftings for years, because I didn't believe I was as talented as the people around me. Thinking back, I realized that comparison made me a shell of a person. I didn't know what it meant to truly live and enjoy the life that God blessed me with because I would always compare it to the next person. Comparison slowly sucked the life out of me and I honestly felt like I could never overcome it. I felt like I had been throwing my dice in the game for so long that it became apart of who I was.
That’s how I felt, until God stepped into the picture.
I remember the night I made the decision to stop throwing my dice in the comparison game. I sat on my bed and opened my Bible. In it, I was reminded that:
1. It is for freedom that Christ has set me free (Galatians 5:1), meaning that there was nothing in my life that I struggle with that God could not deliver me from. I realized in that moment that comparison had no control over me once I surrendered it to the Lord. He alone has the power to bring deliverance and help me to walk in freedom (Psalm 50:15). All I needed to do was give my struggle with comparison to Him and seek Him for the help that I desired. The same goes for you who struggle with it. I encourage you to place it before the Lord. Ask Him for help to overcome it. He will help you! He is a Good Father. Remember, whom the Son sets free is free indeed! (John 8:36) You can walk in freedom.
2. I am enough. I think that many of us struggle with comparison because deep down, we don’t truly believe that we are enough. We don’t believe that we’re good enough, smart enough, attractive enough, capable enough, strong enough, and the list can go on and on. Deep down, I didn’t think I was enough. I had so many insecurities that I needed to take before the Lord. For too many years, I had believed the lies of the enemy; however, when I began to replace all of the lies with the truth of God’s word, I started to believe that not only am I enough, but I didn’t need to compare myself to other people. When we begin to believe the promises of God, we will realize that there really is no need for comparison because we'd know that the One who created us calls us worthy, loved, capable, necessary and every other good thing! Comparison cannot survive in our lives when we know and embrace who we truly are as children of God, and Whose we are.
When I was reminded of these simple, yet life-changing truths, I realized that it was not my fate to play the comparison game for the rest of my life. God reminded me that I could retire my dice and move on with my life- comparison free! I wish I could say that my journey to healing was easy, but it wasn’t. In fact, it was really, really hard and there are some days that I still fall short. However, the Holy Spirit always reminds me of what is true and I get back up again.
Over the next few weeks, we’re going to walk through all of the strategies the Holy Spirit has taught me and continues to teach me about overcoming comparison. Some of these steps will be practical, while others will be spiritual. I believe though, that once we commit to practicing them and also asking God to help us along the way, healing will come and we will be able to leave the comparison game behind.
Let’s resolve to give up our dice and step into freedom.
[Be sure to check out the worksheet for Week#1.]